| Jeremiah 15:19-21 |
[Dec. 29th, 2007|10:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  determined | ] |
| [ | music |
| | waterdeep | ] |
19 Therefore thus says the LORD:
"If you return, I will restore you,
and you shall stand before me.
If you utter what is precious, and not what is worthless,
you shall be as my mouth.
They shall turn to you,
but you shall not turn to them.
20 And I will make you to this people
a fortified wall of bronze;
they will fight against you,
but they shall not prevail over you,
for I am with you
to save you and deliver you,
declares the LORD.
21 I will deliver you out of the hand of the wicked,
and redeem you from the grasp of the ruthless."
its amazing what happens when you break and who's there to pick up your pieces.
and who keeps their promises. |
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| ha! the truth. |
[Dec. 22nd, 2007|12:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  scared | ] |
i haven't written in this for a while, mainly cuz i feel lame. i mean what am i suppose to say??
"Dear Livejournal,
I hate my life, i really kinda hate myself.
I'm so sick of not being able to admit to myself the way i really feel. i'm sick of my walls. so instead of taking down my walls i fight everyone around me or close myself off.
I'm not sure why my husband is still married to me. Sure he loves me, but how much longer till he's sick of me??
I'm not sure why i still live in Duluth or why i work at Perkins.
My family doesn't support a fucking thing i do and does nothing but talk shit about my husband.
I never see my friends.
I'm so sick of worrying about who i've offended or what sensitive cunt is crying cuz i said the word 'cunt'."
and if this is melodramatic then fuck me sides ways i guess i'm melodramatic. |
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| i want to crawl in a hole most days |
[Oct. 16th, 2007|12:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
1. Where is your sister right now?
home in indiana probably sleeping or taking care of a baby.
2. Last place you kissed someone?
my apt
3. Name five things you did today?
1.went to the mechanics
2. went to the post office
3. went to the office
4. to a movie
5. then to hells kitchen
4. Last person you text messaged?
shawnaaaaaa
5. What kind of phone do you have?
a silver one?
6. Are you happy?
define happy.
7. How is your ex doing?
hopefully not doing coke and drinking anymore
8. What are you listening to?
background tv noise
9. Eye Color?
blue
10. Have you ever done a Chinese fire drill?
haha yeeeah
11. What color are your bedroom walls?
crappy flower wallpaper. yeah it came with the place
12. Do you have a chair in your room?
no...should i have one?
13. What are you doing tomorrow?
sleeping in and doing work annnd maybe some sewing.
14. What should you be doing right now?
something that's productive
15. How was your day?
shitty.
16. Do you get along with your parents?
about 98% of the time
17. Any pets?
i have a bosco
18. Favorite band?
none. i hate all music.
19. Are you married/engaged?
yea
20. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
hahahahahahah
21. Do you play an instrument?
nothing well enough to say i play something.
22. Do you like fire?
i don't really have an opinion on fire i guess.
23. Allergic?
to fire? aren't we all??
24. Whos in the house with you?
sam and bosco
25. Have you kissed somebody in the last week?
yes
26. Who is the biggest jerk you know?
me.
27. Are you annoying?
yes
28. Describe your best features:
me sleeping because i'm not talking and making an asshole of myself
29. Do you miss someone?
i miss everyone
30. Do you think they miss you too?
i hope so..
31. How many credit cards do you have?
none
32. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
for about one second
33. What is something you've learned about life?
it's shitty and so are people...but if you surround yourself with good people and try to look at things as best as possible, i guess things are ok.
34. What is your favorite color?
i'm not sure i have one.
35. Is anyone jealous of you?
i doubt it
36. Ever been stuck in an elevator?
no but when i went to pay my rent this past time i thought it was malfunctioning and i was going to plummet 3 floors...but it was fine.
37. What does your dad call you?
laura
38. How's your heart lately?
cold, callused and mostly hurt by disappointment in myself.
39. What does your hair look like right now?
hat hair-ed
40.What city do you live in?
ha..duluth.
41. Has anyone ever told you that they like you more than a friend?
my husband has...as weird as that sounds
42. What have you eaten today?
uhhh a chicken gyro annd some egg thing from hells kitchen.
43. Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
my hair is naturally straight and excessively lame.
44. Do you have a song stuck in your head?
i think this is the first day i havn't.
45. What are you looking forward to?
sleeping. eating. moving. whatever.
46. What's your biggest pet peeve?
rude staring, ignorance, people think that they know eeeeeeverything and they're SIX EFFN TEEN!! dueches
47. Do you have any tattoos?
yes
48. What's your favorite drink?
DIET COKE
49. Any piercings?
6
50. Do you have a crush on someone?
ooooooh! a CRUSH! OH NO!!!
hahaha whatever. |
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| I'VE GOT THE TOUR LUST PERRY! |
[Oct. 12th, 2007|03:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | discontent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | comeback kid | ] |
oh man...it's bad. i don't want to goto work and i don't want to be home.
I want to be on my way somewhere else.
then there's a part of me that wants stability. bullshit.
i think i'm cracked
"In fact i'm only seeing red
everytime i turn my head
empty vessels staring back
life is getting to me lately
as you can clearly see
and i don't think i stand a chance"
i watched american hardcore today and it was really good. it just reminded me of everything i miss. i don't know if school is for me, i know this kind of work isn't for me either.
i feel like i just don't know my options. |
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| I thought this was worth updating with, hope it's encouraging to yous. |
[Sep. 22nd, 2007|07:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | anxious | ] |
Now Faith, in the sense in which i am here using the word, is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods. For moods will change, whatever view you reason takes. I know that by experience. Now that i am a Christian I do have moods in which the whole thing looks very improbable: but when I was an atheist I had moods in which Christianity looked terribly probable. This rebellion of your moods against you real self is going to come away. That is why Faith is such a necessary virtue: unless you teach your moods "where they get off", you can never be either a sound Christian or even a sound atheist, but just a creature dithering to and fro, with its beliefs really dependent on the weather and the state of its digestion. Consequently one must train the habit of Faith.
The first step is to recognize the fact that your moods change. The next is to make sure that, if you have once accepted Christianity, then some of its main doctrines shall be deliberately held before you mind for some time every day. That is why daily prayers and religious readings and churchgoing are necessary parts of the Christian life. We have to be continually reminded of what we believe. Neither this belief nor any other will automatically remain alive in the mind, It must be fed. And as a matter of fact, if you examined a hundred people who had lost their faith in Christianity, I wonder how many of them would turn out to have been reasoned out of it by honest arguments?
Do not most people simply drift away?
-C.S Lewis
Mere Christianity |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2007|08:01 am] |
you know what really bothers me. Guilt trips and people who fish for compliments really hard but then they praise themselves to you like you should be so stoked. it's so lame.
18 more days of this tour and i am HOOOOOOME!! i miss bosco so much and i miss just being able to sit alone and not have to please anyone with my "positive" attitude.
I'm trying so hard and i hope this all pays off so i can be happier in life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 28th, 2007|04:09 pm] |
So tour is started. we're in L.a right now hanging out with these guys steve and chris. i'm really bored and hungry annnd we have no money. we have EXACTLY enough to get us to pomona tomorrow sooo peanut butter sandwiches again tonight! we also have saltines which we could have peanut butter on. it's awesome haha.
i'm really trying hard not to freak out about money..trying REALLY hard. Gods been helping out alot though so i think that's pretty rad of Him haha.
i'm kinda bummed i didn't get to goto cstone this year cuz frickn sweet bands...actually its the same bands that always play i just wanted to see them again.
thats about it though..i want good vegan/veggie food though. i have a strong craving haha |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2007|05:57 pm] |
Why is everything in my life leading me back to Chicago?
Every time i think about X amount of years from now sam bosco and i are in Chicago.
I don't get it and even if i did i suppose it wouldn't matter because i don't think sam would move. There's just SO much here. note the sarcasm.
I just feel really trapped and anchored by a lot of things that i have no control over. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2007|11:59 am] |
bitsy came up to visit me a few weeks ago. it was AWESOME! totally needed it and i feel a little better. had amazing falafel in minneapolis drove back to duluth...back to the ignorance...back to the uncultured. back to where i live. i've decided and i know that i change my mind alot, i've decided that i think i'd go mad if we'd bought a house here. Lived here..worked here.
I've been noticing lately that the people i call friends have been using me. People are rude and inconciderate, i'm tired of it. depending on who you are..i don't think i'll be helping you anymore so piss off.
other than that i'm doing well. i can't wait for tour this summer. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 18th, 2007|11:33 am] |
Baby was a black sheep. Baby was a whore.
Baby got big and baby get bigger.
Baby get something. Baby get more. |
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